Posted by: Richie Bernardo

Anyone who’s ever organized a wedding knows all too well how difficult and time-consuming the process can be. It’s the reason many couples hire professional event planners to do the heavy lifting. And the cost only adds more stress, with the average couple shelling out over $35,000 for their big day.

Between sending invitations, securing reservations, planning a menu and obsessing over final touches on the cake, it’s no wonder weddings are arranged months, even years, in advance. Tying the knot is a huge commitment, and the $76 billion wedding industry is growing by the year.

At WalletHub, we understand the logistical and financial stresses of that typically long march to “I do.” So in order to assist with the planning process, our analysts compared more than 180 U.S. cities to find the cheapest and most convenient wedding destinations that also promise a memorable day. We examined each city across 23 key indicators of wedding-friendliness, ranging from average wedding cost to venues and event spaces per capita to hotel availability. Read on for the results, insight from a panel of experts, and a full description of our methodology.

1. Main Findings
2. Ask the Experts
3. Methodology

 

Main Findings

Embed on your website<iframe src="//d2e70e9yced57e.cloudfront.net/wallethub/embed/18721/geochart-married.html" width="556" height="347" frameBorder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <div style="width:556px;font-size:12px;color:#888;">Source: <a href="http://ift.tt/2noXmXk>  

Best Places to Get Married in the U.S.

Overall Rank (1=Best)	City	Total Score	‘Costs’ Rank	‘Facilities & Services’ Rank	‘Activities & Attractions’ Rank
149	Yonkers, NY	21.00	148	24	150
150	Newark, NJ	20.31	144	123	134

Ask the Experts

Marriage is not only a big life decision, but it also can be a hefty financial commitment, because how much money you have usually determines the extravagance and location of the wedding. But some couples have far fewer resources to spend on their special day. For advice on such matters and how to boost the local economy through the wedding business, we turned to a panel of experts in family studies, personal finance and local administration. Click on the experts’ profiles to read their bios and thoughts on the following key questions:

1. What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?
2. How should a couple decide where to get married?
3. What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?
4. Weddings can often be an economic boost to local businesses. What can local authorities do to encourage weddings in their communities?

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• Jacob B. Priest Assistant Professor in the Couple and Family Therapy Program and Director of the LGBTQ Clinic in RCE at the University of Iowa College of Education
• Patricia W. See Professor of Sociology in the Wilkinson College of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences at Chapman University
• Lisa Mize Program Coordinator and Associate Professor in the Human Development and Family Studies Program at Stephen F. Austin State University
• Mickey Langlais Assistant Professor in the Family Studies Program at the University of Nebraska at Kearney
• Jane E. Newell, Ph.D. Visiting Professor and Director of the Undergraduate Social Work Program in the Department of Family Science & Social Work at Miami University
• Tai J. Mendenhall and Joyce Serido Associate Professors of Family Social Science in the College of Education and Human Development at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities
• Brandan Wheeler and Joe Wilmoth Assistant Professor and Associate Professor, respectively, in the School of Human Sciences at Mississippi State University
• Thomas W. Draper Professor of Human Development in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University

Jacob B. Priest Assistant Professor in the Couple and Family Therapy Program and Director of the LGBTQ Clinic in RCE at the University of Iowa College of Education

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

When setting a budget for a wedding, I think couples should consider at least three things. First, couples should consider the meaning of the wedding. Depending on the cultural and economic background of the partners, weddings can mean different things to each person. Couples should discuss questions such as, “What are your expectations for our weddings?” and “What parts of the wedding are most important and why?” When partners understand the emotional and cultural significance of a wedding, they are better able to negotiate a budget.

Second, couples need to discuss their values around money. Again, depending on the cultural and economic background of the couple, money takes on different meanings. For some, money is a sign of security; for others, it represents status. When couples understand the differences and similarities they have with regards to their values about money, they can negotiate better. Couples also need to discuss their view of debt. For some people, debt is something to be avoided if at all possible; others are more comfortable with taking on debt. Couples should know if going into debt to pay for a wedding is something that both partners are comfortable doing.

Finally, couples should discuss how they define “budget.” For some, a budget represents strict numbers that can’t be exceeded. For others, a budget is a guideline or ballpark figure. If couples set a budget but they have different definitions of what they mean by it, it’s likely that the budget will be a source of conflict. Also, couples should discuss whether they see a budget as a living document or something etched in stone. Is the budget a couple sets able to be renegotiated as the wedding planning plays out? Or is the expectation that once the budget is set, it is unalterable? If couples are upfront about the flexibility or lack thereof in their budget, this helps the wedding planning go smoothly.

Patricia W. See Professor of Sociology in the Wilkinson College of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences at Chapman University

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

Lots of communication. Communication between the couple, with parents and other family members, perhaps friends and the wedding party. The rules are changing, so who is paying for what?

What are the cultural backgrounds of the couple?

One groom's mother I know was so annoyed that the bridezilla-to-be chose the most expensive restaurant in town for the rehearsal dinner (which mom was to pay for) that she paid for a severely truncated dinner (lasagna and Jell-O) in the church kitchen. Not so fancy. There is still some distance between them ten years later.

Think things through and communicate. Weddings and funerals are fraught with family baggage. Irrational behavior can certainly crop up. Couples who know themselves and each other well will be in agreement about their big day

How should a couple decide where to get married?

Cost of venue, formal or not, destination or not. Some folks resent major travel expenses, consider their budgets. Is there alcohol? One wedding I attended had most of the family staying at a golf course about ten miles from the reception venue. Folks wouldn't drink and drive. Loss of money in bar investment.

At another wedding, the reception was held at the hotel where all the extended family stayed; it was a very fun party. No one had to drive. Irish Catholics, of course.

What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?

Set the budget and stick to it. Most problems come from close family members. Do they want children present? Who is invited -- friends of parents or friends of the couple? Set boundaries and don't budge. This is the hard part, resisting the pressure. Never go into debt to fund a wedding. Use your money to set up a life together. Go to the court clerk or have a small religious ceremony, get married and have a party.

Lisa Mize Program Coordinator and Associate Professor in the Human Development and Family Studies Program at Stephen F. Austin State University

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

Collaboration is the key. Many times, when planning a wedding, one of the individuals (usually the female) fantasizes about a “Cinderella wedding.” This is especially significant this season, since Prince Harry is getting married and there is a tremendous amount of press coverage. The number of guests is probably the biggest factor. This number influences the budget majorly -- the food, the venue, the invitations, all of which can be expensive.

How should a couple decide where to get married?

Once again, the budget impacts the location. Many traditional venues are not expensive. For example, a church, one of the family’s home, or a friends site. A second factor is religious preference -- is a church/religious space important to the couple or their family?

What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?

Have a spreadsheet, don’t keep secrets and anticipate going over by 10%.

Weddings can often be an economic boost to local businesses. What measures can local authorities undertake in order to stimulate weddings in their respective communities?

Be flexible and accommodating to the clients. For example, highlight the local florist or caterer, but have strategies in place for the local businesses to collaborate and partner with businesses that the couple chooses to use that are not in the local community; allow the caterer to utilize the kitchen or the florist to store flowers in the cooler. This is an opportunity for the local business to profit and the clients to tell other families about how accommodating the community was for their wedding.

Mickey Langlais Assistant Professor in the Family Studies Program at the University of Nebraska at Kearney

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

First, it is important to note that over the last 20 years, there has been a shift in who has been responsible for paying for weddings. Several years ago, parents and family members assisted with wedding costs. However, it is much more likely now that couples themselves are financially responsible for the costs associated with their weddings. And weddings aren't cheap, as the average wedding currently costs between $15,000 and $25,000. Thus, couples need to decide on their wedding budget, including both ceremony and reception, and if they are going to have financial help from family members; and if so, how much they plan to contribute.

Couples should work together to answer the question, "How much money are we willing to spend on our wedding?" After deciding how much money they can spend, couples need to work together to prioritize various aspects of their wedding in order to be financially responsible, while also planning their optimal wedding experience. What do both individuals consider important? According to recent studies, couples often view venue as most important, with music and food following closely behind. These are often the most expensive wedding purchases. After couples know their budget and prioritize their wedding needs, they can actually devote certain costs to various aspects of the wedding. This process is a great tool to prepare for marriage, as it promotes communication between a couple as they make difficult decisions, which should be important to practice, as later in life couples may need to financially prioritize vacation, children's expenses, etc.

How should a couple decide where to get married?

This question can be broken down into two separate questions. Where do couples want to have their wedding ceremony and where do couples want to have their wedding reception? The first factor to take into consideration is the number of people that a couple expects to attend their wedding. Second, couples should consider the cost of where to have their reception and ceremony. Many churches will provide locations for wedding ceremonies if one of the couple members is a member there. Other ceremony locations will provide a reception location, which could also mitigate costs. Couples should consider the importance of the venue, as well as the cost of the venue.

Next, consider accommodations. For example, does the couple have family members that are handicapped? If so, having a wedding in the mountains may not be practical. The couples need to understand their own needs, as well as the needs of their guests. Subsequently, some might say that couples need to consider location, but that may not be as important as once thought, as individuals who are invited to the wedding who are happy for the couple will find a way to make it to the wedding regardless of cost.

What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?

Couples need to be realistic with the decisions they make. For example, couples need to be realistic when it comes to guest lists. Often, couples want to invite as many individuals as possible, but that often drives up the price of a wedding. It's okay for couples to be picky when it comes to who attends their wedding. It's also very financially sensible to "wedding-shop," meaning that couples should visit with multiple venues and vendors and attempt to get the best opportunities for their money. There are multiple photographers, food vendors, wedding DJs/bands, etc., and it's great to find the best quality for the best dollar amount, and the best way to do that is to shop around and compare prices.

If couples have prioritized their wedding needs, as mentioned earlier, they can provide more financial flexibility for the things they want most, with less flexibility with things they want least. For example, if a couple really likes a venue which might be out of their price range, couples can sacrifice something that isn't very high on their priority list, like a videographer or wedding decorations. As a side note, many couples wanting to save money can make their own wedding decorations, or even help cook some of the food for their wedding. Last, couples should be realistic with their budget. If there is something that is completely out of their price range, then move on to something else. Sometimes, couples feel that they need a specific venue or vendor for a wedding regardless of price, but that could put stress on a couple that could cause conflict and potentially hinder their wedding experience.

Weddings can often be an economic boost to local businesses. What measures can local authorities undertake in order to stimulate weddings in their respective communities?

Local businesses should create opportunities that appeal to the needs of potential clients, meaning clients that live near or in their city. What are some of the trends in weddings in a local city? If there is a trend for a specific theme, vendors can appeal to that specific theme. I also think that local businesses need to appeal to the climate of their clients. For instance, millennials are the current generation who are getting married. They are attracted to new, modern objects and locations. They also use and rely on social media and the Internet.

Local businesses can advertise on social media, update their webpages, link their webpages to Google, and emphasize their modernness and uniqueness through technological output. More individuals shop online rather than shop in-person (asides from purchasing wedding dresses), so appealing to clients online would work great. Additionally, responsiveness to e-mails and phone calls would be advantageous. Couples want to know that they are being prioritized for their business. Being able to respond quickly to clients shows that a business's focus and attention would be on the couple to assist their wedding planning experience.

Jane E. Newell, Ph.D. Visiting Professor and Director of the Undergraduate Social Work Program in the Department of Family Science & Social Work at Miami University

Courtship as marketing and packaging -- while we are making progress toward egalitarian relationships where men’s and women’s worth is not based on gender (and hopes for equal pay for equal work continue), still in the market economy, gender differences are most evident in expectations for females as they prepare for dating and marriage. Consequently, women spend an exorbitant amount on products to live up to the physical “ideal” (the image) seen in advertisements all around them. As the physical “ideal” image impacts both women and men, more and more men are spending on products in the market economy, as well. Expectations for men and women differ, and their spending habits are likely to follow the expectations for the “ideal” for each gender, as seen below:

• For men: education status, employment status, financial success, physical “ideal;”
• For women: physical “ideal,” make-up, hair, skin products, clothes, shoes, perfume, teeth whiteners.

Sexual marketplace -- relationships take place in a sexual marketplace. Men and women play different roles based on traditional gender expectations:

• Resembling buyer and seller;
• Men value sex;
• Women seek commitment, self-esteem or economic resources.

This explains sexual exchanges in current culture. Resulting from this sexual marketplace and fueled by this, we are further embedded in a cosmetics market in the U.S., with an annual profit of $56.63 billion.

Courtship and marriage in the 21st century is embedded in a context we now call the “Market Economy:”

• As we moved from an agrarian to industrial, and now information-based economies, courtship as marketing was seen in stronger and stronger connections to a consumer economy.
• There is an emphasis on “packaging” in modern-day weddings, i.e., weddings become bigger and glitzier than ever.
• Weddings are a huge business in the U.S. According to costofwedding.com, the average wedding will cost $26,645.
• Couples spend between $19,984 to $33,306, while most spend less than $10,000.
• Add to that the costs leading up to the wedding, the honeymoon and other related expenses, and one can easily see that this is big business, not only in the U.S., but globally.
• The global wedding market is now a $300-billion industry. $55 billion of that is spent in the U.S. alone.

Tai J. Mendenhall and Joyce Serido Associate Professors of Family Social Science in the College of Education and Human Development at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

The most common topic that couples argue about is money. Further, we know that the more a couple spends on their wedding, the less likely they are (in a statistical sense) to stay married.

To spend 20, 30, or even more than 40 thousand dollars on a single-day party for 300 of your closest friends is a very stressful way to start out your life as a married couple. It is better to invest in the marriage (e.g., paying down the financial-aid debt that you bring to the relationship, putting a solid down payment on your first house together, so that you do not have to pay rent or mortgage insurance) than it is to spend a lot of money on a wedding. My principal advice for couples who are setting a budget for their wedding is to remember this (i.e., invest in the marriage, not the wedding).

Figure out what you can afford without using credit cards or other types of debt. Do not spend money that you do not have.

Plan a wedding with the people that really matter (e.g., close family and friends), and do not “compete with the Joneses” for extravagant venues, hundreds of guests, dresses that you will only wear once, flowers that will all die anyway, cakes that look more like artwork than food, etc.

Plan something that you will remember fondly, versus something that you will feel relief for after it is over (because you exhausted yourself and your resources putting it together for a year or more of your life).

The couples that I know who had the best weddings had weddings with no more than 20-30 guests. They spent 5, maybe 8, thousand dollars -- and the most expensive part for them was the photographer and pictures (because this was more justifiable in the long-run than a fancy limousine, an open bar, etc.).

For many couples, especially young adults, weddings are not just expressions of love -- but also a coming of age ritual. Yet the mix of emotions and expectations that surface when planning a wedding can make focusing on the marriage rather than the wedding hard. Who wants to ruin this “once in a lifetime” moment by thinking about the cost?

Assuming that the couple is paying for part/all of the event, I would encourage couples to kick back and start a four-step iterative planning process. Start by asking each other what you want to remember when you look back on the day. Is it the food? The people? The location? The flowers? The music? Most likely, the answer will be all of these. Then do some “window shopping,” to get an idea about what all these things cost. Most likely, the answer will be much more than you thought. Now that you have some idea about the cost, set a range for what you want to spend -- your estimated budget will likely be somewhere between what you “thought” and what you learned by window shopping. Then, prioritize the things on your list and set an amount for each one. Repeat these four steps until you have a wedding plan that you both feel good about, at a cost you both can live with.

How should a couple decide where to get married?

I think that this depends on the couple, and they should decide what is meaningful to them (not their parents or other family members). If they are connected to a faith community that is important to them, then their church/synagogue/temple makes good sense. If they have a place that holds special memories (e.g., a park where they had their first date or got engaged at), then doing something outside could be amazing. If they want to marry in their local courthouse with a judge (which is simple and inexpensive) and then have a great reception in the backyard of their home with close family and friends, this too could be a good way to go.

Avoid getting married in places that are difficult for you and others (with whom you are close) to go or return to. While a beach in Bora Bora might sound romantic, for example, it could overextend the couple’s finances and be burdensome on their friends/family.

What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?

Remember to invest in the marriage (not the wedding), and do not use credit cards or other debt to pay for a single-day party.

Weddings can often be an economic boost to local businesses. What measures can local authorities undertake in order to stimulate weddings in their respective communities?

This question raises an important consideration regarding competing interests. What could be great for a local business could really hurt a couple who might be paying for things that they cannot really afford. The wedding industry is already a multi-billion-dollar industry; my sense is that current marketing and advertising are already effective.

Brandan Wheeler and Joe Wilmoth Assistant Professor and Associate Professor, respectively, in the School of Human Sciences at Mississippi State University

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

For many people, the wedding becomes a public declaration of a couple’s commitment to each other. It also provides an opportunity to celebrate a couple’s decision to marry among their closest friends and family. Research has demonstrated that the more guests at a couple’s wedding, the lower the risk for divorce in the future. As with any celebration, there are costs associated with the planning of such an elaborate event. From the adoption of the diamond ring as the official symbol of an engagement to the wedding ceremony, and to elaborate receptions following the wedding, allowing newlyweds to greet and interact with additional family friends and acquaintances, the wedding has become more lavish over time. Otnes and Pleck describe how the lavish wedding has combined the symbolism of romantic love with consumerism.

According to estimates provided by CostofWedding.com, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is nearly $26,000 (ranging from $19,000 to $32,000). Other estimates provided by TheKnot.com suggest the average cost was more than $31,000. Some research suggests the cost of the wedding is hindering some cohabiting couples from making the plunge towards marriage. The good news is that many couples are spending less than $10,000 for their wedding celebration. Spending less may actually be more beneficial in promoting long-term marital stability. Francis and Mialon found that spending more than $20,000 on wedding increases the risk of divorce.

In light of these trends, what are some things couples ought to consider when planning and budgeting their wedding?

• Who will be paying for the wedding? How much money is available to spend for the wedding?
• Will you be hiring a wedding planner/consultant?
• How many guests will be invited to the wedding?
• What type of venue are you seeking?
• Will you be planning a local or destination wedding?
• Other things to consider.
• Who will be paying for the wedding? How much money is available to spend for the wedding?

Some couples have the luxury of receiving help from parents/grandparents to pay for a wedding, while other couples are planning on paying for the wedding themselves. Some parents have been planning for such events and are in a position to foot that bill. Unfortunately, not all parents are in good enough of a financial position to pay for a child’s wedding. As such, it is important that the bride and groom have discussions with their parents to clearly find out how much they are willing to spend on a wedding. More importantly, it is important to establish clear guidelines on who will be responsible for paying for which expenses. It may be unfair and create future strains with in-laws if families in different economic positions are expected to split bills evenly.

For a couple who is planning on paying for their wedding themselves, it is equally important to identify how much is available from the beginning. Regardless of planning and budgeting, unexpected expenses will arise, so it is important that couples have an emergency cushion available to cover these expenses.

Couples may also want to consider how they will be paying for the wedding. For example, will a couple be using money saved already, or putting the expenses on a credit card? If money is coming out of savings, what opportunity costs might there be in the future, such as that money could have been used for a down payment on a house?

If a credit card is going to be used, how long will it take to pay off this wedding debt? Wong Ulrich uses as an example a couple who paid for their $27,000 wedding with a credit card. At 12% interest, if this couple is able to pay $500 per month, it will take this couple 6 years to pay off the credit card while paying an additional $12,000 in interest.

In addition, a couple will want to consider other outstanding debt, such as student loans, car loans, or even a mortgage. Carlson referred to debt brought into marriage as an “anti-dowry,” in that one or both partners will be poorer as a result of marrying that individual. Debt has also been associated with increased risk for marital conflict and divorce. As such, couples will want to consider whether taking on debt to pay for the wedding, in addition to other debt, will be the most beneficial to their relationship.

In essence, couples will want to have frequent discussions about expectations and the availability of the funds intended for the wedding.

• Will you be hiring a wedding planner/consultant?

Wedding planners or consultants can be very helpful in navigating the ins and outs, and unexpected issues, of planning a wedding. They can help to relieve some of the stress associated with planning a wedding. Wedding planners and consultants often know the best vendors as well.

However, hiring a planner or consultant does cost money. According to information from Angieslist.com, wedding planners may charge a flat consultation fee, hourly rates, or upwards of $5,000 or $10,000 for full-service planning. As such, couples will want to determine if hiring a wedding planner/consultant is worth this extra cost. If the couple has a limited budget or is planning a simple wedding, it may beneficial to make their own wedding plans. If the wedding is going to be more elaborate, it may be beneficial to hire someone. It may reduce the stress of wedding planning, but it will also require letting go of control and paying for that relief. The amount of savings in hiring someone may simply be worth that relieved stress. Additionally, if the wedding planner can save money using certain vendors, it may also outweigh the costs of a wedding planner.

If a couple chooses to use a wedding planner/consultant, be sure to get recommendations from other people who have used them and to compare prices and services.

• How many guests will be invited to the wedding?

As mentioned earlier, the higher number of guests at a wedding promotes marital stability over time. However, the number of guests at a wedding increases the overall cost of that wedding. Depending on where you live, each additional guest may cost between $100-$200 extra, above and beyond the other costs already associated with the wedding itself.

It may be helpful to use a website, such as CostofWedding.com, to estimate the overall costs of a wedding based on your particular area.

More importantly, it will be important to discuss what amenities will be provided to guests, such as lunch/dinner vs. refreshments.

• What type of venue are you seeking?

In estimates provided by TheKnot.com, the reception venue accounts for nearly half the $31,000 total average cost of a wedding. As such, it is important to decide when and where a couple wants to marry. A couple may also want to consider if they want to be married and have the wedding reception at the same or different locations. More than one location for events will create additional costs renting the locations, decorating, and travel between locations.

If couples can find a way to select dates that are not during peak seasons, they may be able to rent venues for less than during peak seasons. Reserving in advance may also save in costs, although some places are heavily sought for wedding venues, so demand may limit available dates.

Keep in mind, also, that some places may charge a couple simply to use the space and provide no other amenities, whereas other venues may provide select amenities (tables, chairs, dishes, etc.) or be full service. If a couple is willing to decorate a venue themselves, they may be able to save money through such efforts. However, not everyone may have the time with all the other events taking place.

One thing to keep in mind is what requirements may be necessary to use a specific venue. For example, if a couple wants to wed in a specific church building, they might they have to pay for the venue plus a clergy from that church to perform these services. Some clergy may also require couples to undergo premarital counseling prior to being wed in their church. As such, there may be additional time or cost demands to meet those requirements. Additionally, some churches may limit the types of activities that can conducted on the premises, such as alcohol on the premises.

Couples may also consider an outdoor wedding, such as in a park or yard/garden of someone they know. Some people may volunteer the use of these locations while others may charge for it. However, couples will want to have alternate locations available in case of inclement weather.

• Will you be planning a local or destination wedding?

A local wedding may be more conducive to inviting friends and family, which may promote marital stability. However, local weddings, especially if both families are from that area, may grow the guest list considerably, which may require couples to be selective about whom they invite. Feelings may be hurt for some not invited or invited only to certain aspects of the wedding (e.g., reception but not the ceremony itself).

Another advantage of local weddings is that couples may already know people who can provide the necessary services (e.g., catering, photography, etc.). Knowing people may provide deep discounts on these services.

Destination weddings, such as Las Vegas or a beach, are very popular, but couples may be limited in whom they can invite or expect to attend, due to time demands and travel costs. Having fewer guests at the wedding may reduce the overall cost, but couples may miss out on the celebration of their big day with friends and family. If couples do have a destination wedding, they may consider having a local reception, which will increase costs renting venues, catering, etc.

Additional factors to consider are housing accommodations if travel is required. Who will be responsible for such costs? Will the bride and groom cover some or all aspects of the travel? Will guests be expected to cover all travel costs? Are friends and family in a position to cover these additional costs?

Finally, how will couples decide on whom they can hire to facilitate the wedding ceremony, food, music, photography, etc. with a destination wedding? Couples may be taking a risk of unsatisfactory services if they have limited knowledge of services in these areas. Keep in mind that some areas, such as Las Vegas, may be convenient and provide these services at a low cost, simply because of the number of weddings performed there each year.

• What are expectations for the wedding party (bridesmaids/groomsmen) and guests?

It can be a great honor to be selected as a groomsmen or bridesmaids, but such honors come with additional costs. Sometimes, these costs are paid by the couple to be wed or they may be passed on to those in the wedding party. Costs may include gifts/gift bags to thank those included in the wedding party. Often, those in the wedding party are expected to pay for the tuxedo rental or bridesmaids dresses, but it might be helpful to discuss whether they are in a financial position to cover such costs.

Guests may also have expectations, such as being responsible for travel expenses or their own bar tab. Again, it will be important to discuss how such financial demands may be met by invited guests.

• Other things to consider.

Additional costs of the wedding include the engagement ring, invitations, the wedding dress, photographers/videographers, musicians/DJs, wedding cake, and many other things. Couples will want to explore what is the most important for their wedding and ways to save money. Some examples are to consider an engagement ring that is not a diamond, individual flowers that can be made into bouquets, making own decorations, alternatives to a wedding cake, etc. Weddings can be expensive, but there are ways to save money, if the couple is willing to look for them and look for alternative ways to provide what is desired for their wedding celebration.

While we hope all couples have a nice wedding, regardless of its cost, we often share the following insight with the students we teach: “Plan more for your marriage than you plan for your wedding.” A wedding day, as wonderful as it is, is a single day, while a marriage is intended to last a lifetime. Please don’t let the wedding day be the highlight of your marriage.

Do those things that can improve long-term marital satisfaction and marital stability. If possible, consider taking a premarital education course. Give yourself time to discuss the future, including expectations of that future, how you feel about and expect to handle finances, children, goals, etc. Such discussions may not solve all problems that arise in the future, but discussing them early may give couples insights into how they can navigate these problems when they do arise.

Thomas W. Draper Professor of Human Development in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University

What factors should couples consider when setting a budget for their wedding?

Like all financial things, wedding spending is dependent on knowing what you are trying to do and why, as well as having a correct understanding of the expenditures, in the context of other things you hope to achieve with the means you have at hand. As a parent, wedding spending is part of giving the new couple a good start. But means and the couple’s other needs are relevant. For example, could some of the money be better spent helping the couple with education or careers?

If, as a parent, your goal is to make an impression on other parents, at least acknowledge that to yourself. My father-in-law drove a new, top-end Mercedes. Doing so was good for his business. An expensive wedding could be the same. But at least consciously know what you are doing and why. My family car is a three-year-old 4-wheel drive Toyota SUV, and we know why. With children, grandchildren and places to go in the snow, it makes sense. It is sufficient for our needs. If I am going to impress those I wish to impress, it will be through what I write and publish.

I once had a secretary whose father spent far more than he seemingly could afford on her wedding. The next week she came back and casually reported, “Not bad for a first husband.” I sincerely hope her parents got enough out of the wedding to justify the expense.

On a related topic, I had a team of research students who did a study of the relationship between the size and type of engagement rings and marital happiness and endurance. There was no relationship. A closer look at the data suggested that there may have been a curvilinear relationship, with those at the extremes not doing as well as those in the middle, but the sample (n=300) was not large enough to know with confidence. Perhaps those who are very strapped for money and those who are exceedingly flush with cash are operating in worlds that are filled with other variables that influence marital happiness and endurance.

My children got married in Latter-day Saint (Mormon) temples (free) and had receptions in backyards (low-cost) or the cultural halls of LDS churches (free). In all cases, the receptions were very nicely catered (not free). It was sufficient for our needs, and appropriate for our means and priorities. So far, the four kids and their spouses have achieved 56 years of successful marriages, ten grandchildren, eight college degrees, seven advanced degrees, four households with sufficient means to care for a family --not to mention giving to charity, and have some left over for fun. The son without the advanced degree makes the most money.

Not everyone shares my values, and that is not the point of the previous paragraph. The point, as always, weddings or whatever: know what you are doing and why. Make good contextualized financial choices, help others, and enjoy life.

What tips do you have for a couple planning a wedding and hoping to stay on budget?

Be clear about what an expensive wedding will accomplish in the context of your other financial goals. Understand that in the long run, the success of your marriage is going to very likely depend on other factors. Local churches and backyards can be excellent and inexpensive. I drove my father, who was a Justice of the Peace, to the near top of a mountain -- we hiked the rest -- to marry a couple who wanted to be married on top, at sunrise. It was what they wanted to do, and it was inexpensive.

Weddings can often be an economic boost to local businesses. What measures can local authorities undertake in order to stimulate weddings in their respective communities?

There is an educational component. Simply teach children that marriage is a worthy goal for them and will improve the society they live in. Teach them to marry. Similarly, teach them that staying married is, in most cases, a good thing. There is -- albeit equivocal -- research evidence that enduring marriage is related to better education, better employment, and higher general happiness. As in virtually all social science, one can argue against the point if one tries hard enough. But still, the premise that good things for individuals and societies follow stable marriages is the best guess. It is where capable gamblers would put their money.

Teach children to be sophisticated users of probabilistic (social science) data. While it is true that if one’s parents divorced, one is more likely to divorce, over 90 percent of one’s own marital stability is unrelated to what one’s parents did. I like the social sciences and teach them for a living, but too often, very small associations make headline news as though they were physical laws.

Methodology

In order to identify the best and worst cities in which to tie the knot, WalletHub compared 182 cities — including the 150 most populated U.S. cities, plus at least two of the most populated cities in each state — across three key dimensions: 1) Costs, 2) Facilities & Services and 3) Activities & Attractions.

We examined those dimensions using 23 relevant metrics, which are listed below with their corresponding weights. Each metric was graded on a 100-point scale, with a score of 100 representing the most favorable conditions for weddings. For metrics marked with an asterisk (*), we used the square root of the population to calculate the population size in order to avoid overcompensating for minor differences across cities.

We then determined each city’s weighted average across all metrics to calculate its overall score and used the resulting scores to rank-order our sample.

Costs – Total Points: 40

• Average Wedding Cost: Triple Weight (~20.00 Points)
• Price of a Three-Star Hotel Room: Full Weight (~6.67 Points)
• Restaurant-Meal Costs: Full Weight (~6.67 Points)Note: “Restaurant Meal” refers to a three-course meal for two.
• Prevalence of Affordable Wedding Logistics: Full Weight (~6.67 Points)Note: This metric measures the prevalence of affordable restaurants, wedding venues and wedding planners with ratings of at least 4.5 stars.

Facilities & Services – Total Points: 30

• Wedding Chapels & Churches per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Venues & Event Spaces per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Party-Equipment Rentals per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Photo Booth Rentals per Capita:*: Half Weight (~1.11 Points)
• Event Planners per Capita: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Videographers & Photographers per Capita: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Musicians & DJs per Capita: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Makeup Artists & Hair Salons per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Bridal Shops per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Flower Shops per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Limousine Rentals per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Hotels per Capita: Full Weight* (~2.22 Points)
• Restaurants & Bars per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)
• Catering Companies per Capita*: Full Weight (~2.22 Points)

Activities & Attractions – Total Points: 30

• Number of Attractions: Double Weight (~10.00 Points)
• Popularity as a Travel Destination: Full Weight(~5.00 Points)
• Foodie-Friendliness: Full Weight (~5.00 Points)Note: This metric is based on WalletHub’s Best & Worst Foodie Cities ranking.
• Weather: Full Weight (~5.00 Points)Note: This metric is based on WalletHub’s Cities with the Best & Worst Weather ranking.
• Amusement & Entertainment: Full Weight (~5.00 Points)Note: This metric is based on WalletHub’s Most Fun Cities in America ranking.

 

Sources: Data used to create this ranking were collected from the U.S. Census Bureau, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Wedding Report, Kayak.com, Numbeo, TripAdvisor, Travbuddy.com, Yelp and WalletHub research.

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